good high

It's cold...
It's cold and it's dark here.
You know the place.
You've been shadowing me for weeks now. I can feel the pulse of your heart beneath my footsteps.
It wasn't the attraction. Nor the attention. It was the high. You know the one.
The one that leaves you in the grass, your heart pounding from the hallucinations you experience..
Was I like that for you?

Did I give you a good high?
I hoped I did.

What is love?
Here I am. Here you are. Staring. At me. I, at you. Wandering the walls of your soul. Without a word, we simply exist.
But, still, I gave my heart to you that day.

They say I'm manic. They say I'm depressive. Like black ink, swirling down the page, reacting to the gravity of this cold world.
and so, I am the ink. The touch you fantasize about. The broken ink, crippled in the darkness. I wanted you. You wanted me. We both knew it.
It was our secret. Though we never spoke, never connected, there was still a connection. Silent, but still it was there. I waited for you. You were waiting for me.

Beautiful.
Charming..
Such dull words. In this dark place, only the heart reigns. Don't speak. Don't whisper, just, be.

Be the one I want. Weather I say so or not. I wanted you to choke me. I wanted you to beat me, so I could see you, the real you. Kept locked up, behind the music. The rough notes.
The fights. The anger. The living. You wanted to live too, didn't you?

So who am I?
A lover? A fling? One night stand? I still, wanted to mean something to you. Touch me, my beating heart.
Write on me what you will. Hit me. Hurt me, as I know you have.

We don't speak. Touch. Follow. Trace.
We just, are..

Do you have that connection? Can you place your heart next to mine and say you love me?
Why?
Why do I want this? This is... This is nothing. There is no love. We do not touch. Follow. We simply, are..

It's a different kind of love.
One where you just know..

Don't tell me you love me.
I won't say it either. Here, in this dark place, there is no need for words.
We simply fly. And crash. Off the highs. And lows.

That's why you need me.
And why I need you..
We never said it.
Just wanted..

~End~