[x]

My DadWhen I was little, my dad was a superlative.

He was the strongest, the bravest, the most the best. No man could compete with him. He didn't just set the bar, no, my dad was the bar. He could do no wrong in my big youthful eyes.

When I became a teenager, my dad was nothing but wrong.
His expectations: wrong.
Means of discipline: wrong.
Opinions of my boyfriends: wrong.
And it was hard to understand how a man of such great stature could take such a fall. Especially to such a smart daughter like me, who was above the petty "ugh, my parents suck!" complaints of a typical teen. I, who searched for a higher understanding, could not possibly be at

Secrets ExposedHello to the reader whom is taking their time to read this.
I am merely writing this to express how sad, alone, and pathetically worthless I have been feeling.
Often, mostly during the night hours, I start to warp deep into thought and usually end up in mass depression. How I keep ending up in this state of mind is not so much of a mystery as I like to portray it to those I tell. To start off my explanation, I shall tell of today (Jun. 12, 2013).

On this particular day today, I was helping mother at her job in Oxbow Elementary. My hormones had been very out of whack. When I was helping her pack sunflower seeds for next day’s breakfast

RepetitionWhat's the point of a heart?

That it beats with all of its might within your ribs, pounding at your lungs until you can't breathe? That it stops every time something bothers the weakly firing neurons up past the rivers of your veins?

What does it pump through your weary limbs but the icy cold blood that's trudging from your broken valves? They weep and sigh and cut themselves off in a tragic mobius twist. And without an end, what purpose does that familiar slamming and throbbing have?

Just to remind you that it's there, one would think.

Or maybe the point of the heart is to bleed what it receives. To keep the fluid flowing. Just to keep t

Godly Relationships 7: Shared ValuesIf you're still searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, be patient, be prudent, and be picky. Look for someone whose values you respect, who behavior you approve of, and whose faith you admire. Remember that appearances can be deceiving and tempting. And when it comes to the important task of building a lifetime relationship with the guy or girl of your dreams, pray about it!
If you happen to be one of those very lucky ones who has already fallen madly in love with the same wonderful person who has already fallen madly in love with you, say a great thanks to the Matchmaker in heaven. But if you haven't yet found a soul-mate who honors both you and G

You Are Already PerfectI hung up the phone and look down at the ground before looking up into my mirror.
Why do you like me?
Why do you love me?
You could have a million other girls, I’ve seen them look at you, so why me?
What’s so good about me?
Nothing.
I’m so ugly.
Why don’t you go off with someone who’s beautiful?
No, I don’t want you to leave me but I want you to be with someone who is good for you.
The only things that are beautiful on me are these lines.
All these red lines.
I’m so sick.
No I don’t like doing this but…
I guess I have no answer actually.
I walk to the bathroom and quietly close the d

My Best FriendI Can Never Tell You

There are so many things I wish I could say, but alas words can never seem to be enough…I know you’ll never read this, but then again, is that even the point?
I know you probably don’t even understand all you do to begin with, so it won’t really matter, because you’ll remain the same. You are, truly the best friend a person could have, the way you always listen, without any kind of judgment, you’re always there, and if you weren’t, well…I don’t really have much to say about that. You always seem to know if something is wrong, and you’re just there to help me

AffectionI miss affection.

I miss having the off chance of being hugged or even kissed when the moments were right.

I don’t like that it’s been so long since I’ve had that.

I think I deserve to have it, but I don’t get it.

I mean, we’re all human, we’re supposed to be able to thrive on social interaction and occasionally have meaningful relations through touch.

But I never got that out of either of my parents.

My father always asked why I recoiled back when he’d touch me or go near me; it’s because
I wasn’t used to him actually reaching out to me that way.

My mother was worse at it; I can c

Animal Rights Quote 4True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power. Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
~ Milan Kundera

SinkingThe tears sting more
When they refuse to fall
Hot, salty bullets of anguish.
Assaulting my eyes
As I try to forget.

I wake, like a brick wall
It's there in front of me,
Even in dreams,
I cannot escape.

Surrounded by people
I still feel lonely,
Drowning, suffocating in
The tormentor's shroud.

They don't see me,
I'm not even there.
Not really.
The happiness ended long ago.
I cannot reach the air above.
Sinking, falling, leaving.

Will I ever be visible again?
To even myself?
The cruel mirror lies,
It's image of an empty shell,
Its not me.
I'm not there.
I am broken.
Save me.
Please.

Rant 15: LOLPlease let me use _____. Hasbro told me _______.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

If you're gonna lie, at LEAST make it convinicing! Oh my god, that's the best excuse I've heard to date. Good lord, did you really think I was gonna fall for that? Oh my god, people are IDIOTS.

Industrialized MindIndustrialized Mind

Turn it off.

It's the silence that eats away at your battery ripping into your bronze armor, drinking your oil.

During the day it's so easy to forget the long dark nights because people make so much noise. It's like an information overload. But when the day sinks into everlasting dusk the dead feeling beckons you, sticking to your skin like a crystallized blast freezer.

And then it begins.

The silence.

But it is never truly silent.

Every file is being analyzed, the gears are turning in your head as the machine belches smoke consuming the wilder land of your inner solace. Everything that has ever made you happy is no

For My Girlfriend, The Love of my LifeDear Tori,
Every time I am near you, my heart beats faster and faster. You always make me happy when I'm down, and I thank you for making my life enjoyable. I love how amazing you are, and how you always bring a smile to my face. Your hugs are warm, your kisses are sweet. I love you with all my heart, and all my soul. Truly, words can not express my love for you. I am glad to have such an angel for a girlfriend, for she is beautiful, smart, funny, and pretty much amazing at everything. If your life was ever in danger, I would save you in a heartbeat. You have done so much for me, and I can't thank you enough. It would take me over a decade just to thank you for all the amazing stuff you've done for me.
My life before I met you was a living Hell. I was going downhill fast and I wanted to die. Then I met you, the most perfect person on the face of the world. After talking to you, I immediately knew that we were going to make the greatest of friends. Later on,

Father

My father is an ambulance. One of those old ambulances, the ones that have seen everything and are still running perfectly. The ambulance has faded paint, and numerous scratches that it has made little attempt to cover. The ambulance does not try to hide what it has done, and the things it has seen, but it does not go and broadcast such knowledge either. It simply drives around, and helps. Its interior is worn, and obviously well used. The tools and bandages are all arranged neatly in their spaces, well secured so as not to fall or get stolen. The seats in the cab are plain leather. Sturdy, long lasting, and strong. Constantly going around lo

Embersthe embers die
darkness murders the shadows
stretch
shake blood matted fur
snear
only cut deep enough
to prove life

lope forward
trail branches
continue forward
my own path
nothing to fear
dull vision through the gaze
of the broken

The effects of anti-gay bullyingHey, do you know that kid? Yeah, that boy who was being bullied. He shot himself. It's a shame, too, he was going to go to Yale and become a doctor. Problem was, he was gay.

Disgusting pigs.

Hey, do you remember that girl who was beat to death by her best friend? Yeah, she was so nice, she always tried to donate to charity. No one took her money though, because she was gay.

Attention-seekers.

Hey, remember that guy who protected you from that bully? He had a broken leg yet he helped you. He wanted to be a famous athlete. No one thought he could do it, because he was gay.

Queer.

Hey, remember that soldier? Yeah, he was taking care of thr

Browse More Like This

Download File
TXT, 966 bytes more ▶

More from ~PyroShadow18

melody_3please don't cry
when i sing you a lullaby
when the tears fall and need to dry
don't fall..

please don't say a word
when all the world has heard
of your painful words
your violence, unheard

there go the rainbows, once again
there go the silence that i had
one more time, as the wind blows down the window
and again i try to climb
even though you are so high, so far away from me
i plead for mercy
but it's been coming, slowly..

please don't leave again
if one more chance, i'd give
just to see your pretty smile
and hear your voice
it's okay to lie to me
as i'm down on bended knee
do you hear the sorry, echoes from my voice

i

capturein shadows we crawl
avoiding the pain of our next fall
into the night we share
the wings of those we cut off, and dare
to bleed. like us.
we want to belong
to somewhere. never was too far away..

travel to the light
and find solace.
a solemn promise
to catch the night's knife by the hand

trust the pressure
the instincts come alive
we are all animals inside.
it's harder to hide
the scent of freedom upon your lips.
the ones you've kissed are broken.

a touch is all we ask for.
but your hands are cold.
your heart, is dark
so you too, struggle in this sanity race
this purple hearted face of reflection.
gathered in imaginatio

View Gallery

Featured in Groups:

#GBSTA
Opening Minds, Opening Hearts

#LGBT-on-dA
Open arms and open hearts

#inspiration-for-all
one word a week to inspire you

Details

Submitted: December 7, 2012
File Size: 966 bytes

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 7
Favourites: 8 [who?]
Views: 103 (0 today)
Downloads: 2 (0 today)

[x]

love_5

by ~PyroShadow18, Dec 7, 2012, 7:34:42 AM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

Lately, I've had some trouble with my own sexuality. Where I'm supposed to fit in.
I've loved guys and girls before. There are people that I love very much. Does this make me gay or straight?
Would that really matter in the grand scheme of things? I think that love is beautiful. In all it's forms.
And I really do believe in love, and happiness. I don't like seeing people cry, or being hurt.
Should I be ashamed, or scared, or afraid to love someone? I don't think so.
Maybe there is no where for me to fit in. But that's still okay. Isn't it?
I don't judge other people. Because I don't want to be judged myself.
Love is something that should be embraced. Not frowned upon to looked down upon.
And I hope that one day, we can all accept people for who they are. And love them for who they are.

Take care.

~Josh~

love_5by ~PyroShadow18

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

Just thinking a little this morning.
I hope you're all well and happy.
Take care everyone.

~Josh~

~~~~~

love_5

Written by: Joshua Ward
Date: December 7, 2012
Time: 10:34 PM

Thanks for reading this. I appreciate it.

~Josh~

*Blaisie Dec 7, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Nobody should be afraid, but they are

~PyroShadow18 Dec 7, 2012

And that's a really sad thing. That we aren't allowed to be who we are because it's not normal (I hate that word.)
Hopefully this will change someday..

~Josh~

*Blaisie Dec 7, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

its tragic. hopefully our society can change someday. My girlfriend is currently stuck in the closet, and I hope for a day when she doesn't have to be.

~PyroShadow18 Dec 8, 2012

I hope so too. Nobody should be afraid to be who they are. We shouldn't have to live in fear. Hopefully, things will change someday. I really hope so.

~Josh~

*Blaisie Dec 8, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

i believe so.

~PyroShadow18 Dec 8, 2012

Me too.

~Josh~

*Blaisie Dec 9, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

More from ~PyroShadow18

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

love_5

love_5by ~PyroShadow18

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style